Funny

MSE Messed up

King Nero — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 01:46:42 GMT

I don't have any pics or anything, but did find this quite funny. After MSE stopped working for the 3rd time I went to remove it with revo. However, after revo removed the registry, add/remove programs entry and leaving with 11 files, some reason it was still working! It was running like new actually. Wasn't showing the red x on startup and task bar icon visible. I had it doing scans when removing with revo which it never stopped. Oddly all features were working as expected. It was gone ...

IE is Being Mean to Me

kpac — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 20:56:43 GMT

Why IE is so nice to web developers... How many Microsoft workers do you need to change the light bulb? Spoiler:Zero, they'll make darkness a standard. Hehe

An Engineer, A Manager and A Programmer...

E-Mu — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 11:49:27 GMT

There was an engineer, manager and programmer driving down a steep mountain road. The brakes failed and the car careered down the road out of control. Half way down the driver managed to stop the car by running it against the embankment narrowing avoiding going over a cliff. They all got out, shaken by their narrow escape from death, but otherwise unharmed. The manager said "To fix this problem we need to organize a committee, have meetings, and through a process of continuous improvement, ...

Is Windows a Virus?

mad056 — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 05:20:27 GMT

With the recent problems being encountered by Windows users all across the country, people are begin to ask themselves if windows is a virus. In response to the high demand for an answer to that question a study was done and concluded the following. 1. Viruses replicate quickly. Windows does this. 2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so. Windows does this. 3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk. Windows does this. 4. ...

Bird is the Word - Family Guy

Techknow_Ryan — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 00:22:18 GMT

Sneezing baby Panda

Sneakyone — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 04:33:55 GMT

I always laugh so hard at this because it scares the crap out of the mother panda...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzRH3iTQPrk

Girl that aint got nobody

Techknow_Ryan — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 20:40:51 GMT

"You have got to stop listening to your girlfriends about your relationships -- especially that girlfriend that ain't got nobody." -Lester Barrie: Friend's Bad Advice.

See him tell it: http://comedians.jokes.com/lester-barrie/videos/lester-barrie---singles-in-the-audience

Intelligence Test's

E-Mu — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 12:14:46 GMT

Two men play five games of checkers, each man wins the same number of games, they do not tie a match. Explain it. Spoiler:They are not playing each other. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark? Spoiler:None. Moses was not on the ark. Some months have 31 days how many have 28? Spoiler:All of them - all months have at least 28 days. Which burns longer, a red candle or a white candle? Spoiler:Neither, they both burn shorter. How can you drop and egg six feet without ...

Mater Stunt Man...Cars Tall Tales

Techknow_Ryan — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 00:19:57 GMT

Small Town Justice

Techknow_Ryan — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 02:31:43 GMT

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. ''But officer,'' the man said, ''I can explain.'' ''Just be quiet!!!'' snapped the officer. ''Or I'm going to let you cool off in jail until the chief gets back.'' ''But officer, I just wanted to say...'' ''And I said KEEP QUIET! Now you're going to jail!'' A few hours later, the officer checked up on his prisoner and said, ''Lucky for you the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a great ...

Democracy Kicks In - Family Guy

Techknow_Ryan — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 00:43:04 GMT

Phone Sex - Family Guy

Techknow_Ryan — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 00:40:23 GMT

Peter breast feeding - Family Guy

Techknow_Ryan — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 00:38:31 GMT

If Bill Gates...

DragonMaster Jay — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 02:25:02 GMT

If Bill Gates had a coin for every time people had to reboot their computer...oh wait, he does.

Make ££££ quick!

E-Mu — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 11:50:51 GMT

Don't Miss This Opportunity

Are you interested in making ££££ fast?

Here's an incredibly simple way to do it and there is nothing to buy, no investment to make, no money to lose!

TRY it now!

Follow this simple procedure:

1. Open a new text or word document
2. Hold down the shift key.
3. Hit the 3 key four times.

Technology for Country Folk

DragonMaster Jay — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 22:38:33 GMT

New Media Douchebags

DragonMaster Jay — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 20:38:05 GMT

Another Intelligence Test

DragonMaster Jay — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 22:47:58 GMT

Dog intelligence test Test 1 VIEW NOW: Spoiler:Throw a towel over your dog’s head and use a stopwatch to time how long it takes the dog to free itself. An average may be 15 to 30 seconds. Test 2 VIEW NOW: Spoiler:Place three paper cups upside down on the floor, three feet apart. Show your dog that you are placing some beef or something under one cup. Turn the dog in a circle three times or lead it into another room for about 20 seconds and then see if the dog can find the right ...

Funny: Mountain Dew Throwback Taste Test

DragonMaster Jay — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 03:43:25 GMT

Who say's engineers arnt clever!

E-Mu — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 11:48:04 GMT

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after ...

Missing Programmer

E-Mu — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 11:25:56 GMT

A programmer had been missing from work for over a week when finally someone noticed and called the cops.
They went round to his flat and broke the door down. They found him dead in the still running shower with an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body. Apparently he'd been washing his hair.

The instructions on the bottle said:
* Wet hair
* Apply shampoo
* Wait 2 minutes
* Rinse
* Repeat

Bill Gates New Home

E-Mu — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 11:24:16 GMT

The following is a conversation overheard as Bill Gates was moving into his new house... Bill: "There are a few issues we need to discuss." Contractor: "Ah, you have our basic support option. Calls are free for the first 90 days and $75 a call thereafter. Okay?" Bill: "Uh, yeah... the first issue is the living room. We think its a little smaller than we anticipated." Contractor: "Yeah. Some compromises were made to have it out by the release date." Bill: ...

Masculine or Feminine

E-Mu — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 11:21:19 GMT

A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. Things like 'chalk' or 'pencil,' she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral. Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?" The teacher wasn't certain which it was, and so divided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should ...

3 Engineers = 3 Wishes

E-Mu — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 11:18:08 GMT

A lead hardware engineer, a lead software engineer, and their program manager are taking a walk outdoors during their lunch break when they come upon an old brass lamp. They pick it up and dust it off. Poof - out pops a genie. "Thank you for releasing me from my lamp-prison. I can grant you 3 wishes. Since there are 3 of you I will grant one wish to each of you." The hardware engineer thinks a moment and says, "I'd like to be sailing a yacht across the Pacific, racing before ...

Warning! New Viruses.

E-Mu — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 19:10:17 GMT

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB and then slowly expands back to 200MB. AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting. MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus. Politically Correct virus: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism." Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays ...

10 signs your an Internet geek

E-Mu — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 19:06:39 GMT

10. When filling out your driver's license application you give your IP address. 9. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is "Hi, what's your URL?" 8. Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail. 7. You're amazed to find out spam is a food. 6. You "ping" people to see if they're awake, "finger" them to find out how they are, and "AYT" them to make sure they're listening to you. 5. You ...

Ten tricks to living up a meeting.

E-Mu — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 18:09:17 GMT

1. Stand up and act indignant. Demand that the boss tell you the 'real' reason this meeting has been called. 2. Spill coffee on the conference table. Produce a little paper boat and sail it down the table. 3. During a meeting, each time the boss makes an important point, (or at least one he/she seems to consider important), make a little noise like you are building up to an orgasm. 4. Stay behind as everyone else, including the boss, leaves. Thank them for coming. 5. Give a broad ...

Top ten excuses for falling asleep at work.

E-Mu — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 17:55:38 GMT

1. They told me at the blood bank this might happen. 2. I wasn't sleeping, I was trying to pick up contact lens without hands. 3. I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm! 4. Amen 5. This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to. 6. Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper 7. I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work related stress. 8. This is one of ...

10 Ways to tell if a Redneck has been working on a Computer

E-Mu — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 17:34:56 GMT

10. The monitor is up on blocks. 9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them. 8. The six front keys have rotted out. 7. The empty RAM sockets have truck parts stored in them. 6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six. 5. The password is "Bubba". 4. There's a gun rack mounted on the side of the case. 3. There's a Coors can in the cup holder(CD-ROM drive). 2. The keyboard is camouflaged. 1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter".

More "what not to say to a cop who pulls you over"

E-Mu — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 16:11:51 GMT

Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on COPS? I pay your salary! Gee, Officer...that's terrific...the last officer only gave me a warning too! Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around-that's how far ahead of me they are. What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist. No, YOU assume the position. I'm surprised you stopped me, ...

Blonde at PCWorld

E-Mu — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 12:17:10 GMT

A blonde goes to PCWorld looking for some curtains for her PC,

The assistants says you dont need curtains for a computer!

Blonde say's HELLOOO! It's got WINDOWS in it!

Walks Into a Bar... Talking Dog

DragonMaster Jay — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 07:41:03 GMT

A dog walks into a bar and hops up on a stool. He looks the bartender in the eye and says, "Hey, guess what? I can talk. Have you ever seen a talking dog before? How about a drink?"

The bartender thinks for a moment and says, "Sure, the toilet's right around the corner."

Our Stupid Apartment's On Fire!

DragonMaster Jay — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 07:36:38 GMT

Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony.

"Help, help!" yells one of the blondes.

"Help us, help us!" yells the other.

"Maybe it would help if we yelled together," said the first blonde.

"Good idea," said the other.

"Together, together!"

10 things NOT to say to a cop who pulls you over.

E-Mu — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 15:44:20 GMT

1. I cant reach my license unless you hold my beer 2. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in 3. Aren't you the guy from the village people? 4. You must of been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me! good job! 5. Excuse me, is stick 'em up hyphenated? 6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer 7. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead. 8. You're not ...

Butt Joke (clean)

E-Mu — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 16:09:03 GMT

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool ...

Walks Into a Bar... String Style

DragonMaster Jay — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 07:40:11 GMT

A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here."

The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer.

The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?"

The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

This couple...

DragonMaster Jay — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 14:11:24 GMT

A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn't like it and moves on but the husband keeps looking.

The wife asks, "What are you waiting for?"

The husband replies, "Autumn."

Google Search Suggestions

E-Mu — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 17:35:43 GMT

Me thinks Google may need to have a word with it's Search Suggestions Software....

Two Coats

DragonMaster Jay — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 23:36:07 GMT

A blonde decides to show her husband that despite what everyone says, blondes really are smart. While her husband is at work, she decides that she is going to paint the living room in their house. So the next day as soon as he leaves, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home after work and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a parka and a mink. He ...

Two blondes are shopping...

DragonMaster Jay — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 22:07:06 GMT

Two blondes are shopping at the mall. When they are done they go out to their car, which happens to be an awesome leather interior convertible. When they get to the car, they realize they had locked the keys in the car. So they both kind of stand there and think for a while. Finally one gets am idea to try to open the car with a hanger. So the first blonde starts fiddling with the lock with the hanger. The other blonde looks up at the sky and suddenly becomes very worried. "HURRY, ...

Computer Terminology

E-Mu — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 16:11:12 GMT

486 - The average IQ needed to understand a PC. State-of-the-art - Any computer you can't afford. Obsolete - Any computer you own. Microsecond - The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete. G3 - Apple's new Macs that make you say "Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago." Syntax Error - Walking into a computer store and saying, "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no ...

Is Windows a Virus?

E-Mu — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 16:15:38 GMT

Here's what viruses do: 1.They replicate quickly. 2.Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so. 3.Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk. 4.Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. 5.Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental ...

Lame joke maybe?

E-Mu — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 12:42:06 GMT

Someone asked me this today at work,

What is E.T short for?

Spoiler:: Because he only has little legs!

Computer Addiction

E-Mu — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 16:01:26 GMT

You know it is time to reassess your relationship with your computer when.... 1. You wake up at 4 O'clock in the morning to go to the bathroom and stop to check your email on the way back to bed. 2. You turn off your computer and get an awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one. 3. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free internet access. 4. You laugh at people with 28.8 modems. 5. You start using smileys ...

Firefighters Heroics.

E-Mu — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 15:46:37 GMT

A fire started on some grassland near a farm in Indiana. The fire department from the nearby town was called to put the fire out. The fire proved to be more than the small town fire department could handle, so someone suggested that a rural volunteer fire department be called. Though there was doubt that they would be of any assistance, the call was made. The volunteer fire department arrived in a dilapidated old fire truck. They drove straight towards the fire and stopped in the middle ...

10 things only women understand.

E-Mu — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 15:39:25 GMT

10. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes. 9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white. 8. Crying can be fun. 7. Fat Clothes. 6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch. 5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience. 4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. 3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible. 2. Why a ...

Doggie

Techknow_Ryan — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 03:52:56 GMT

The US President

DragonMaster Jay — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 23:44:27 GMT

Courtesy: dailytech.com

[LARGE IMAGE] If browser were women

DragonMaster Jay — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 05:51:10 GMT

Thanks to an unknown source.